What am I complaining about?

Let me start this by saying diabetes sucks. It is hard. It hurts. There are numerous needles and finger sticks. Diet planning and counting carbs. It is a constant struggle between high and low blood sugar and something that is constantly thought about... but today I got to experience something different.

Today was stoma day in class where we learned what a stoma/ostomy bag was and why people need them. In case you have no idea what I am talking about a stoma is is an opening, either natural or surgically created, which connects a portion of the body cavity to the outside environment (like a part of the intestines to the outside of the body). An ostomy bag collects waste that is output from a stoma. The ostomy allows the stoma to drain into a sealed collection pouch, while protecting the surrounding skin from contamination.

So now that you know what I am talking about we had the option to try one out and wear it for the day. I decided to volunteer thinking I already where an insulin pump all the time, how different could this be. I was wrong. Not only did I wear the pouching system, my instructor filled the bag with re-fried beans (to simulate fecal matter) and give me the full effect of what that would feel like. 

this is what it looked like

Wearing an insulin pump is NOTHING compared to wearing an ostomy bag. Yes it is annoying wearing something all the time but in reality I can take the pump off any time, switch to shots and no one would every have to know I was a diabetic. It is not the case with someone who needs an ostomy bag. You cannot just take this off and switch to something else whenever you feel like it. This is something that is on you all the time and is something you always have to worry about. I cannot imagine having something like this. I understand now that when I get upset about wearing something the size of a pager I need to shut up. There are bigger things to worry about and I am lucky that I only have diabetes.

I don't have cancer, I don't have HIV, I don't have something that could kill me if I manage it correctly. That is a blessing, not a curse. Today's lecture showed me that I need to be thankful for what I have. Does this mean I am not going to complain about diabetes.. NO, but it does give me the perspective that things could be much worse. To those people to wear any kind of ostomy, You are stronger than I could ever be and I cannot imagine what you go through. 

I also cannot imagine changing this every 5 to 7 days. I had mine on for about 6 hours and was almost in tears taking it off because unlike a pump site (which hurts, but feels like a band-aid in reality) this was VERY painful, I now have no hair in the area the bag was stuck to me.

ouch.

Moral of the story is that I am glad I stepped into someone else's shoes so I could get out of my own head and realize that I need to quit complaining. I have a disease that could be invisible if I wanted it to and not everyone is that lucky.